I haven't written in awhile.

I'm horribly depressed. I'm fucking lonely. I feel like I am just going through the motions just to make it another day. I have felt weird lately. I feel out of it, I can't concentrate, I feel lightheaded 24/7, and I am just sad.
I just feel like giving up. I don't even feel like talking about it anymore or even trying to. My assistant manager, she was like a mother to me. She shot herself Oct. 30th. I'm so lost. I just, fuck. Why? Dear God, Why? I'm an idiot for not seeing the warning signs. I'm ready to cut myself. I'm done. I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there for awhile. This isn't fair, why her?  I've been blessed with some really good friends through this. I just, I'd rather have her back. I feel numb atm as well. I just..I don't know. Nothing makes sense.

I stole this picture! =P